The End Is Nigh: 9 Crazy Leftist Predictions for Net Neutrality Repeal
The FCC has repealed Net Neutrality in a 3 – 2 vote, and the world is about to end. Or so you’d think, if you believed left-wing Twitter.
Proponents of the repeal, including FCC chairman Ajit Pai, say that Net Neutrality, which classified internet service providers as “common carriers” who must treat all content equally (even if it takes up more of their resources), was too heavy-handed a regulation and needed reform.
Pai has argued that there was no justification for the Obama administration’s 2015 introduction of Net Neutrality. “The Internet wasn’t broken in 2015” says Pai. “There was no market failure that justified the regulatory sledgehammer of Title II.”
Opponents of the repeal say that it gives ISPs more power to favor their own content, especially streaming services. Comcast, they argue, might choose to make Netflix and YouTube load slower and their own streaming services load faster. Under new FCC rules, however, any such “throttling” of content must be publicly disclosed by ISPs. Furthermore, if ISPs promise not to throttle, as Comcast has done, and then break their promise, the FTC can impose penalties upon them.
It seems like a reasonable disagreement: two sides of a fairly technical debate exchanging legitimate concerns.
And then there are these guys.
1) The End of the Internet As We Know It!
“The End of the Internet As We’ve Known It Since 2015 when Net Neutrality Was Introduced, so About 2 Years Lol” was probably too cumbersome of a headline for CNN.
2) The end of Net Neutrality means the “silencing” of gays and “marginalized communities”
The repeal of #NetNeutrality is an attack on the LGBTQ community
The repeal of net neutrality is an attack on the LGBTQ community
The fight for net neutrality does not stop at the FCC, it is time for Congress to step up and listen to advocates who are leading the fight to preserve this lifeline.
ISPs, as we all know, have three major concerns: broadband infrastructure, bandwidth usage, and the type of genitals your partner has. That’s just how capitalism works.
3) The end of Net Neutrality is an attack on “reproductive freedom”
Killing #NetNeutrality would kill access to abortion information. Before tomorrow’s vote, take action with @NARAL to demand the @FCC keep internet open for #ReproFreedomhttp://actnow.prochoiceamerica.org/sign/tell-fcc-and-congress-net-neutrality-matters-reproductive-freedom?source=twitter …
Tell Congress: there is no reproductive freedom without net neutrality!
Join us in the fight to save our internet. Sign your name to tell Congress and the FCC that net neutrality is necessary for reproductive freedom.
Yes, this is the true purpose behind Comcast’s evil plan: everyone thinks they’re worried about the huge streaming services that suck up vast amounts of their bandwidth. In reality, their entire business model is dependent on paychecks from the Pro-Life Alliance. Who knew?
4) SUICIDE! ABUSE! MENTAL HEALTH! ANOREXIA! BUZZWORD!
a list of things that’ll be fucked if #NetNeutrality is denied:
resource hotlines (depression, suicide, etc.)
educational resources- ALL grade levels are in danger
youtubers who afford to live bc of their YouTube
the US economy even
please text RESIST to 50409
We’re going to need the fire department to deal with takes this hot.
5) The end of Net Neutrality will lead to a new civil war
Watch out guys, he used a 300 animation. I think he’s serious!
6) The end of Net Neutrality is the end of free speech on the internet
There’s free speech on the internet? That’s news to us.
7) The end of Net Neutrality means the end of democracy
This is an egregious attack on our democracy. The end of #NetNeutrality protections means that the internet will be for sale to the highest bidder. When our democratic institutions are already in peril, we must do everything we can to stop this decision from taking effect. https://twitter.com/AP/status/941370764326039553 …
Yeah, it sure would suck if the internet were dominated by one big corporation with documented ties to an established political dynasty and the power to swing elections with a few algorithm changes. Oh wait.
8) $14.99 for Twitter!
This truly is a dystopian future, isn’t it? Others were quick to expand on Banksy’s predictions:
If #NetNeutrality is repealed:
• Netflix will cost $199 per second
• $800 fine if you say MySpace
• Your iPhone will strangle you
• The entirety of Manhattan will be zombies except for one man
• Annual reaping of children will be instated
• The Lorax shows up
9) The end of Net Neutrality means the FCC chairman will try to meme
OK, this one was true.